Revenge of the.....

The first reviews are out and they were unkind. The much anticipated Iron Man sequel was panned for extravagant plot lines, too many villains, and deemed an unworthy film. I say to this critic...how dare you???...

Dear mr "critic",

You, and pardon my bluntness, are the definition of a hack. If I'm looking for a deep rooted slow developing plot I will go see sense and sensibility or a play starring patrick stewart or something of that ilk. This isn't a Puccini (yup!, even us moronic blockbuster heads have seen one or two) or even the newest clint eastwood movie....its fucking iron man 2....a movie about an overzealous millionare who made a flying suit that he wears and fights supervillians in. I have to ask right of the bat....did you even watch Iron Man one? It is fairly obvious that you may have missed this little indie film. If you would have seen it you would have seen a film where a man, heavy in wallet and practically on his death bed, is kidnapped and held in a cave by middle eastern terrorists. This man finds a way, while TRAPPED IN A CAVE, to build a mechanical iron suit capable of, but not limited to, flight. In case you exhibit the same short sightedness while reading this letter as you did when you sat down and wrote a panning critique of a film I have lost sleep over due to nervous excited anticipation, let me get to the crust of the matter and ask you....Are you really discussing with a straight face the complexities, or lack there of in your case, of a movie about a billionaire crime fighter who flies, thats right flies, around in an iron suit fighting supervillains. Where's your high brow review of poop or pee? My god man!

And to get back to these villains and your claim that there are too many...the fact that your review claims there is an overabundance of villains is by the far the only redeeming value of your critique and a cause for nothing but celebration. Of course the more the better! I want a masked caped eyepatched villian to jump into the screen, shoot at iron man with some futuristic lazer bazooka, and then immediately jump off screen and before I can say to myself "what the heck was that???" I am instantly distracted by a neon giant robot shooting flames out of its eyeballs or mouth or anywhere trying to also kill iron man.

Also, Mr reviewer....you know what us saturday afternoon, popcorn eating, I want to forget my problems not develop new ones movie goers want...we want to know who we are watching. So when a movie comes along with robert downey junior (rdj), gwenyth, sam rockwell, don cheadle, samuel l jackson, scarlett johansen, garry shandling, jon favreu, mickey rourke, and a cameo by dj am we don't complain about too much...we thank the god of blockbuster movies for bestowing upon us the movie of 2010.

So, please, I ask of you mr critic to point you nose high in the air at something that tries to be high brow and fails and don't waste your time trying to find meaning and plot offenses in our sci fi robot extravanganza. We like food, we like football, and god help us we like spaceships and robots from time to time. Sue us.

This is ours and you will not take this from us. Good day.

-nerds