The Tale of Tyler and the Marathon

As most of you probably know by now, Tyler is running the New York City marathon come November 1st. Tyler is running for Grass Roots Soccer, which is not only a non for profit organization set up by his friend Ethan, but is also a great cause that brings HIV/AIDS awareness to youth through the use of soccer. The Grass Roots Soccer team is chock full of D-list celebrities, and Ross. Ethan was diagnosed with cancer this winter, and after completing his chemo is doing great. This is another reason Tyler feels inspired to run.

Tyler is shocked to learn the amount of money he must raise for the charity, although he believes it a good cause he is overwhelmed with both his financial and physical goals. 26.2 miles and 5K—these numbers make a slightly overweight and out of shape Jewish man shiver. Tyler will be organizing a fundraiser event in the fall and invites you all to attend. (Details on the event TBD).

As many of you know Tyler has shelved his athletic prowess years ago, before I even knew him in fact, and has taken up some other hobbies (e.g. competitive bud light drinking, quitting cigarettes, and kickers) so this whole running thing and the requisite training has been a bit of a challenge for Tyler. Luckily I have been helping him train and therefore am privy to this intimate and difficult road for Tyler; and I’m going to share some of the highlights with you.

Jan-Mar: Tyler officially commits to the marathon and starts his training dubbed “Operation Double Chin.” It involves eating salad for lunch with just one scoop of Ranch dressing, putting on spandex under armor, and going out to face the winter air to do his “loop” in Central Park. (For reference this loop is 1.64 miles long.) His loop takes him about 20-30 minutes at first and it’s not until late February that he comes in bragging about “not having to walk.”

Mar-May: After a bout of cigarette quitting Tyler ventures out to do more than the “loop” and begins his new course entitled “the big loop”—(this may be confusing to some because for those who regularly run in Central Park the big loop is the entire outer circle totaling 6.02 miles, but this is not what Tyler is referring to.) Tyler’s “big loop” at this point is a 4 mile loop that cuts off the bottom and top of the Park. He can not complete it without walking.

June-July: Tyler got married, went on a honeymoon, ate and drank and smoked cigarettes for a month, but talked about maybe getting serious about the training.

July 1: T-17 weeks until Tyler must run 26.2 miles and at this point he can not complete 4 miles without walking. His hobby of cigarette quitting is at a record high water mark, his competitive bud light drinking is in full swing, and although he has cut out a lot of kickers, they are never far from his mind. Tyler decides to get a trainer.

Week 1: The trainer and Tyler start morning runs. They get up at 6:20 am and lace up to pound the pavement. 4 mile loops all around. Uneventful.

Week 2: more 4 mile loops with a few 5.5 milers added in; less stopping for water breaks as well as Tyler’s belief that he needs “mid run stretching stops” occurring. Tyler gets ambitious and goes for a double session; he plays basket ball Tuesday evening and returns home with two giant blisters the size of golf balls on the balls of his feet. He drops 25 dollars at Duane Reade in the moleskin, Band-Aid, and Neosporin aisle. Otherwise uneventful.

Week 3: Tyler makes it up the hills without stopping, it’s not fast or pretty, but he makes a 4 mile loop without stopping. On Saturday Tyler completes his first 10 mile run. It takes 2 hours. He went out drinking the night before so after sleeping in he hits the run in the heat of the day with a hangover. It’s brutal, and he lies on the couch the rest of the day. Exhausted but satisfied. Tyler’s quote, “I just realized how long 26.2 miles is.”

Week 4: Tyler starts out with a 6 mile loop and finishes with his trademark white T blood stained due to a bloody right nipple. He heads back to Duane Reade and buys lube to protect his nips; he takes great pleasure in making a scene while applying it. Thursday night he goes on a “team run” with the rest of the Grass Roots Soccer runners. Extra Extra shows up to film it, (it will be airing tonight, Friday the 31st, at 7pm). During the team run Tyler is beat by a man with one leg and a man who just finished chemo. Tyler believes the man with one legs blade gives him an advantage.

This is where we are so far. For those who are interested and want to continue to follow Tyler’s journey to victory please inquire. But for the rest of you—stay healthy and we’ll see you on November 1.