I realize that there are a few events scheduled to occur over the next few days that may have a few people super pumped. However, I feel compelled to remind everyone that next week is SHARK WEEK. Shark Week is awesome because there are a lot of sharks. Sharks are also cool because they are huge with teeth, and no one knows much about them. Basically Shark Week is a week long marathon of underwater footage of dudes in suits poking 20 feet sharks with sticks and saying they don't know why sharks do things. Its really awesome.
2 comments:
Let me lead by saying sharks are scary. They have big teeth, a sharp fin, and anyone who has seen Jaws knows that they can f a muth'ucka up. And, also, I'm not talking smack about shark week. Getting stoned and watching the prodding of the sharks annually was a pastime of mine in younger years. I just question the fear many people have. It's a touch blown out of proportion. I mean in the U.S. your chances of getting killed by lightning are 30 times greater than dying of a shark attack. I mean lightning, come on. Also, Bees, wasps, and snakes kill more people each year than sharks. Being allergic to bees I am more scared of little Jerry Seinfeld bee than Jabba Jaw (I still can't believe a little bee can take me out, thats ridiculous). Drowning, heart attacks, beach accidents resulting in spinal injury, sunburn, cuts from stepping on sea shells, dehydration, jellyfish stings, and traffic accidents going to or from the beach are all far more common than shark attacks. Where's sunburn week, jellyfish week, ortraffic week? Think how many people don a skim board each week, grab a narly tube on their surfboard, or body surf each day and shark attacks are few and FAR between. Of more than 375 species of sharks in the world, 30 have only ever been reported to ever attack humans. In fact the largest species, the whale and basking shark, eat only humans. It is a known fact that they don't want to eat us...we are too bony, have not enough fat, and we probably "taste like chicken".
So what is the hype? The liberal media? National Geographic? Steven Spielbergs smash hit of the 80's? I blame deep blue sea "with that wack a** LL cool J". (-Bob-B!)
They're cool to look at. And no one knows anything about how they mate, (accept those lame nurse sharks, and if I have to see the footage of those stupid nurse sharks mating AGAIN this year, they are getting another letter from me), they have been around since the dinosaurs, and seem to be reproducing, but how? Also they don't stop swimming or they die. That is crazy, no? They are mysterious and majestic. Although they don't eat humans on purpose...probably...I still wouldn't want to be hanging out on my knee board waiting for the boat to circle back and see a fin go by...
Oh and the Whale Shark...is it technically even a shark? Somehow they make it onto the Shark week....but I'm not sold...nonetheless...they are like big...like a whale.
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