I am fully aware that my photoshop fun is boarding on annoying, nonetheless I still felt compelled to illustrate the happenings. Tyler recently underwent sales training in which he sustained 3 full days intensive learning of what he likens to “Jedi mind tricks” that apply in the art of "deal making." He has decided to apply his self proclaimed “jujitsu sales training” to our wedding planning. This is good and bad. Good for obvious price tag implications. Bad because he walks around here smashing his fist into his hand, with a crazed look in his eye, talking about not paying full price for anything. He is often found looking in the mirror and acting out his future conversations with all of our wedding preparation point people.
Me: Well, maybe that is just what these things cost?
Tyler: We’ll see, we’ll see. Cyndi is going to come and say that is the best she can do, and I’m going to jujitsu her and say, what about this!
Tyler is running recon on everyone I have built up a rapport with. No one is safe, not even the 85 year old widower we are considering renting from. He has even made a declaration he will not pay full price for the suit he will wear because it’s just more fun to get a deal. I have a total divo on my hands. He is determined to shave thousands of dollars off the total price and as a result has all but taken over wedding preparations. He has charts, excel spread sheets, and saved screen shots off of web sites. I have been demoted to assistant for the duration of the process; a position I am much more comfortable in quite frankly. With Groomzilla at the wheel I may even start going by a pseudonym; Ms. tsandler5000.
6 comments:
Correction: It's not "deal-making" it's "negotiation".
-Tsandler5000's assistant
so much to say so i'll keep it brief...
first off, tyler's life is interesting, but even more so when reported thru nel's filter.
divo is mawney...
please document on video ty "practicing" his mind tricks.
finally, it's MRS., not Ms.
having recently been thru this and being someone who likes to pay for free stuff i was way out of my element. my father in law on the other hand was yodaesque in his negotiations. pretty sure he did not pay asking price for anything (save cantor ron lipaz). you see, i avoid awkward situations at all costs, literally (especially sober). arnie gillman appears to thrive on them. his go to move was "okay, but how much if i save you the credit card fees and we do this in cash" worked every time. i know at least a dozen folks in the socal region who have turned to arns to negotiate the price of their automobiles.
What does saving mean?
Who goes to sales training when they are already the perfect salesman?
Getting married in vegas cannot be THAT expensive to begin with?
Doesn't tyler have spreadsheets for his spreadsheets?
Is he using words like amoritizing or phrases like cost dollar averages?
Imagine all the neat things you will be able to do with the saved money....
1) Text tyler when ever you want because he was able to get more anytime minutes and a great steal of a data plan.
2) Eat as many early bird dinners at IHOP as you want when you retire.
3) Will be able to afford trips to atlantic city, Newport, Reno, and other hot vacation destinations.
4) Can take the time to write a book titled, "Being 30 and saving for 60"
5) Lastly, never have to eat nuggets out of the trash ever again.
Tyler, I too am trying to start to save although I do not have much choice at this point. I will see you on the other side of limited fun.
Saving is for F's with a hard T at the end. Get out there and do your patriotic duty - pay for stuff you can not afford nor need. Spend money you don't have, say your prayers at night then and be completely amoral the rest of the day - it's the American way.
Not to "toot Tyler's horn" but... Due to his saved screen shot we may be saving over a grand...
Dude's jujitsu is strong.
-MRS. Tsandler5000
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