The Friendship Grassel Built

In the spirit of the miller roast I will share my first experience with Charles T. It should noted however that the events described hereafter do not represent my first encounter with Big J, but rather our first endeavor into frienshiphood. Our paths first crossed in the seedy back parking lot of Pope Paul VI High School. A haven for druggies, wasteoids, pimps, grateful dead enthusiasts, public school kids trying to score blotter, lax players, and Brendan Nicholas. While I never came face to face with Miller, I was a steady customer of he and his partner's booming Kind Bud empire. Every Friday afternoon I would patiently wait in the tinted obscurity of the Quilt 6 as the handshake drugs were exchanged among the brass of the Panther Varsity football team. But....I digress.

The point is that Miller had already established himself as a BMOC. The kind of kid who walked around with impunity as he wiped his duck butter on unsuspecting co-eds. I was slightly intimidated and confused by the combination of his social status and clearly sociopathic behavior. Therefore I had terribly mixed emotions when I had an opportunity to get closer to the man. As it played out, his boo at the time, who just happened to be my lab partner, Jen "wacka-wacka" Scanlin decided that since miller and I both had saturday detention we should take the opportunity to finally meet (she had been urging me to hang out with him for some time).

She arranged for him to pick me up in his kick ass Bronco II early saturday morning. When he arrived I went out to his car to find him in a full body valour warm up suit. The drive to PVI was unremarkable, save his musical choice, Nine's seminal hit, Nine Lives. Once we arrived I was surprised to find myself in the McDonald's parking lot instead of the school lot. Turns out the plan was to take two footers in Jeff Albartazi's big blue Jeep.

Not wanting to be the square, I choked down 2 milky bingers before heading back to the school lot. Thoroughly highed up and flying off the 60mgs of Dexidrine I had decided to ingest I made my way to the school library to report for painstakingly dull day of saturday school. Miller stopped along the way to recommend that in order to throw off any would be PVI admin gestapo I give myself a health once over with his secret weapon.....Benetton's dynamic Colors cologne.

I quickly found a seat in a cubicle and set to trying my absolute hardest to not throw up or go into cardiac arrest. they know....they know.......they know repeated over and over again in my head. Miller coolly and calmly took his seat (I want to say he even sat backwards a la the fonz). The remainder of the day was inconsequential. Pretending to study, poorly drawn tags, creating fictional hippy festivals headlined by Emmet swimming and Gib droll. The highlight of day came at lunch when everyone pulled out their juice boxes, bananas, and white bread sandwiches. Not Miller. No way. He had bigger things planned. And when I say bigger things I'm talking about megan duke's thunder thighs and two whoppers and fries. The whorish captain of the cheer leading squad strutted right into the library and dropped off a gigantic BK bag before giving miller her "I'll see you in the dugout sex eyes." While I almost vomitted, I was blown away by the onions on the kid. Thats two captains............Fucking Legend.